A Powerful Evening Routine

Ready to like yourself a whole lot more?

Before going to bed get out your journal and create two columns. The column on the left is entitled “Did Wells.” The column on the right is entitled, “What That Says About Me.”

Think of your day and list in the left column everything that you did well that day. These can be simple things like remembering to take your vitamins, giving yourself plenty of time to drive to work or finishing a project on time. The list can also include the larger successes like initiating a difficult conversation with a loved one, enrolling in night school or making a long prepared for presentation at a team meeting. Once you’ve got your list, now it’s time to look at the right column. For each item in your left column, ask yourself this question: If a person does that activity, what does that say about her or him?

So, for instance, if a person remembers to take her vitamins, what does that say about her? In the right column will be your answer. It could be one word or a few words like “responsible” or “healthy.” If a person enrolls in night school, what does that say about him? Perhaps it would say, he’s ambitious, forward thinking or courageous. After a few minutes, you will have a list of wonderful qualities about yourself.

Over the course of a few weeks, you’ll begin to notice certain qualities keep coming up. You’ll realize that you must be very organized, articulate and diplomatic. Your Did Well lists told you time and time again! Or maybe you’ll realize you have a great sense of humor, are kind and are great with numbers. Once again, it’s your Did Well list that makes that clear.

And these great qualities that you learn about yourself aren’t the result of egotism or bragging, they’re simply facts about you based on your behavior. See the magic of this technique? You will know the truth about yourself – that you’re a pretty talented person with many great attributes and strengths.

I have used “Did Well” lists for months at a time and have watched my self esteem blossom. Enjoy the beauty of who you are by noticing what you do well every day.

Self Esteem Tip: Zip Your Lips

Can people raise their own self esteem? Yes! In fact, no one can do it for you. That’s the whole beauty of the process. Any action you take to lift your self esteem is an affirmation that you are worth it -  worth having good thoughts about, worth earning well for, worth taking good care of, etc.

If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Remember mom saying that? Well it’s true and it’s applies to you. Step one: cease and desist. It’s time to break the unhelpful habit of saying  things about yourself that are unkind. Have you ever heard yourself say something like these zingers?

“I look fat.”

“I’m a clutz.”

“I’m always late.”

Whatever not nice thing you say out loud, please begin right now to zip your lips. I want you to either stay quiet or say something neutral. Let’s translate a few examples together…

“I have horrible handwriting.”

Translation: I think Wendy’s handwriting is neater than mine. Do you want her to do it?

“My desk is a pig sty.”

Translation: I could use some help organizing. Would you help me create a system?

“I’m so forgetful. I almost forgot my keys.”

Translation: Great, I remembered my keys.

People like to be around those who look at things with a positive spin. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Caring For Your Creativity

I once had a big, life-changing idea that was as bright as a butterfly. Within days, I felt its wings sag, the momentum drop. What happened? Negative feedback. I am finding it important to match the feedback I need with the right person. There are well meaning people everywhere that can crush a delicate, new thought without realizing the damage they are doing. If you are like me, at the beginning phases of creativity it’s best to seek out only the gentlest witnesses. About my bright idea? I’m back on track starting this month, I promise. Do you treat your good ideas like the fragile and beautiful creatures they are? Let me hear your thoughts. Best yet, let’s share the ideas we are nurturing in our lives (and let’s promise to be gentle!)